whispers & shouts

Friday, 20 November 2009

  • a subconscious message

     

     

    this morning I wpke up with bits of a dream left in my memory...

    in my dream I was talking to my mom (who passed away earlier this year, and whom I had not talked to for a decade). I was explaining how I see things and she noded, she understood what I meant. Which felt wonderful, to be understood.

    then my mom said: "if you take a symbol that signifies hawk on a ladder, abd then another symbol which signifies loneliness, what do you get if you add them together?"

    the answer was: an egg.
    It made such sense and yet I found the answer so surprising.

     

    I have no idea what it means, do you?

     

     

Sunday, 15 November 2009

  • 0.0

     


    stage fright. Seems stuck up. Since I don't expect anyone I don't already know to waste time enough to read this.

    stage fright is probably the key to my life. Which is spelled FAILURE.

    still somewhere in a mind carefully numbed there is a yearning for the exhilirating sensation of assembling words into something, something that will express all those things I hide.

     

Saturday, 24 October 2009

  • it's one of those nights


    when I can't stay asleep. And once half awake I know I can't stay in bed.
    and sitting in the darkness in the livingroom for a while only makes it impossible.

    Impossible to resist the urge in me to turn on the computer. And get on Xanga. No wait. I don't spend that muich time on Xanga these days. I'm lost in time and space and hooked on mind challenging games such as Farmville and Café World.

    um.

    other recent behavioral patterns of mine is to avoid contact with anyone even remotely related to me. Hey, I almost fainted when my niece left me a message sign post on Farmville...
    Actually I didn't mean to ignore her, I just haven't figured out how to leave messages on Farmville. And to send her a PM seems too, too intimate.

    Yee haaw.

    Our cat is enjoying the lfie if her dreams. Around the clock outdoor access, around the vlock because she'll scream loudly if we're all alseep when she wants to go outside. And she's marked her little territory and chased off the other cats enough times to be able to spend time indoors sleeping peacefully. She loves sleeping in the laundry basket. Luckily it's almost never empty.

     

     

     

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relaxolgy

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