whispers & shouts

Thursday, 09 July 2009

  • what kind of writer are you?

      
    what type of texts do you end up producing?
    when I have a writers block I refarin to what appears to be poetry, or just pasting a blogthings quiz into my weblog entry...

    I Should Be A Poet
    You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.
    And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery...
    Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.
    You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.
     

Saturday, 04 July 2009

  • one step closer to freedom


    They say bitterness, angry unresolved hurt are like chains holding us back.
    Limiting us.

    Trust me I've tried to let go of the past. But somehow all I've been left with has been indifference. A numbness that conceals something that keeps on draining me.

    The other day though out of the blue somebody confirmed what I've felt all these year.
    That my family never really let me in. They never really bonded to me.

    All the years of provoking them, testing them. Maybe I didn't want them to start carinfg for me, to be there for me, to listen to me. Maybe all I wanted them to do was to admit that they didn't care, never had. Not because of how and who I am, they wouldn't have cared no matter how or whom I'd been.

    And for once, it didn't hurt me to hear they never developed any true family ties to me. It didn't irk me, it didn't infuriate me the way it has done all these years.

    It was such a relief.
    They say truth shall make you free, don't they?

    I guess true freedom only comes from forgiving.
    And I will forgive them, eventually. First I need to forgive myself though.

    I'm like a flower, placed in a crack of asphalt. A flower forced to grow grew deprived from sunlight and only drops of water. I'm not as strong or as pretty or as big ast the flowers that grew up in the meadow where sun and shade took turns making the days pass.

     

Sunday, 28 June 2009

  • eyes on gentle stars above


    velvety blue
    almost shifts to purple

    she is gone now
    do I own my reality now?

    small and soft like a kitten
    they wanted me blind

    as I grew
    they simply forgot all about me

    they were dinosaurs
    making the earth shake

    ruling my world
    never able to control my mind


     

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