relaxolgy's Xanga

needs - who needs them?

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:53:10 GMT

I need to write. I need to get things done. I need to polish my plants, talk to my cat, take my kettle for a walk, teach dogs how to walk.

Yeah. I need to wash other people's hands. I need to demolish a rainbow and shoot a unicorn and leave to bleed to death. That's what heroes do, right? That's what losers do. Same shot but different.

I need to lose some of that attitude. And gain two more pant sizes and grow less furry and reconstruct those whiskers.

Maybe I really need to wipe that grin off your face. Maybe I should read a book. Maybe tomatoes won't grow if you don't make a wish first. And fish never honk their horns and they never have any car insirance either.

There is a lot of love all clogged up into lumps of inconsistent spacial adverbials and uncountable nouns.

I need a gun. Some peas and a frigging ocean of Kleenex and Q-tips and some Eggos to go along with that new scarf I got at Mark's and Spencer's.

Do you hear me though?
You probably should not have read this.

this is where xanga missed out BIG time

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 09:56:58 GMT

"Over 50 languages

So far, we’ve been able to offer native versions of WordPress.com in over 50 languages. Not just our home page—we’re doing Blogs of the Day, forums, and even tags in whatever language you prefer. If you’re a polyglot, you can help with the community translation process."

- Wordpress.

more languages = more users = more advertisers

a subconscious message

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:55:24 GMT

this morning I wpke up with bits of a dream left in my memory...

in my dream I was talking to my mom (who passed away earlier this year, and whom I had not talked to for a decade). I was explaining how I see things and she noded, she understood what I meant. Which felt wonderful, to be understood.

then my mom said: "if you take a symbol that signifies hawk on a ladder, abd then another symbol which signifies loneliness, what do you get if you add them together?"

the answer was: an egg.
It made such sense and yet I found the answer so surprising.

I have no idea what it means, do you?

0.0

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:22:26 GMT

stage fright. Seems stuck up. Since I don't expect anyone I don't already know to waste time enough to read this.

stage fright is probably the key to my life. Which is spelled FAILURE.

still somewhere in a mind carefully numbed there is a yearning for the exhilirating sensation of assembling words into something, something that will express all those things I hide.

it's one of those nights

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 01:49:14 GMT

when I can't stay asleep. And once half awake I know I can't stay in bed.
and sitting in the darkness in the livingroom for a while only makes it impossible.

Impossible to resist the urge in me to turn on the computer. And get on Xanga. No wait. I don't spend that muich time on Xanga these days. I'm lost in time and space and hooked on mind challenging games such as Farmville and Café World.

um.

other recent behavioral patterns of mine is to avoid contact with anyone even remotely related to me. Hey, I almost fainted when my niece left me a message sign post on Farmville...
Actually I didn't mean to ignore her, I just haven't figured out how to leave messages on Farmville. And to send her a PM seems too, too intimate.

Yee haaw.

Our cat is enjoying the lfie if her dreams. Around the clock outdoor access, around the vlock because she'll scream loudly if we're all alseep when she wants to go outside. And she's marked her little territory and chased off the other cats enough times to be able to spend time indoors sleeping peacefully. She loves sleeping in the laundry basket. Luckily it's almost never empty.

recycled:

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:20:37 GMT

dear world, fuck off

he said
you have left the desert
now you need to populate your world

and I broke down in tears of shattered glass

grains of sand and stones
dry and mute
but more loyal than those that left me

barren

originally posted: 10/23/2008 6:10 PM --- almost exactly a year ago!

silence

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 14:13:36 GMT

is sounds like this and looks like THAT

why do I long to fly when it's not in my nature to do so?

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 01:03:03 GMT

polished into perfection
equal in strength

they tear me apart
they fit like hand in glove

like polarized twins
confined in a single body and mind

past pain makes up for future crimes?!

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:01:45 GMT

so, TheoDan is following the news as as usal and posted on the Roman Polanski stopry.

The famous film director Roman Polanskiwas arrested last week in Switzerland.

He raped a 13 year old girl about 30 years ago. He gave her Champagne and a drug. He then had oral and vaginal sex with her and later had anal sex with her. He served 42 days in a mental institution but he was afraid the judge was going to sentence him to prison. So he took off.

Now he has been arrested and several actors are saying he should be freed. Here is the link: Link
Should Roman Polanski be freed or should he have to serve out his prison term?

as usual, the best part of visiting Dan's blog are the comments., which is sort of the point of blogging.

someone commented:
"His life has been filled with pain. His parents died in a concentration camp (if memory serves). His pregnant wife Sharon Tate was killed by the Manson clan. He's suffered enough."

I found this argument very interesting. Do past pains justify future wrongs?!
I mean we all know that most criminals serving time in prison enjoyed a healthy, safe and non violent and trauma free upbringing... right?

on language and the need and limits of rules to form it

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:39:57 GMT

Language is like the breath of society - it simply exists. Without it there would be no societies, cutures or communities. We often think we can, should and will control it. But just like the breath of your own - you can only affect it to a certain extent.

Language is every individual's birthright. And it belings to each and everyone, and none of us. It cannot exist under any other conditions than mutual sharing and constant influence from soical and political factors.